Musings of a Dead Parrot

10 Things I Know About God That No One Else Does (inspired by Carl Reiner)

1. You are closer to Him outdoors among the grasses, trees, streams, animals, boulders, orangutangs, fruit bats, etc. than you are reading any religious text
2. He thinks freckles are cool
3. After many years on the golf course, he still fights a hook
4. He thinks that the first human to eat an oyster or a banana was very brave indeed
5. He tries to see the best in the people he meets
6. He prefers uphill to downhill
7. He loves any food with tomatoes, garlic and olive oil
8. He thinks that puppy, mellifluous and serendipity are the best English words to say out loud
9. He thinks that dogs kick butt over cats
10. He believes that Dwight Garner was down

How do I know these things about God? Because he made me in his image.