Musings of a Dead Parrot

Do you hate to deal with high pressure car salespeople? Always think they are taking advantage of you? GM's Saturn division was supposed to counter that stereotype. Since the brand was created over 20 years ago they have promoted their no-haggle pricing and no pressure sales environments. However a new ad makes me question if their ad agency understands this.

Saturn is using a song by Badfinger in their tv ads. These are the lyrics that you hear - "If you want it, here it is come and get it/Mmmm, make your mind up fast."

Here are lyrics from that song that you don't hear on the ad - "Did I hear you say that there must be a catch? Will you walk away from a fool and his money."

Yes, that is what I imagine a car salesperson is thinking as they approach a customer - will I walk away from this fool and his money? Not if I want that big month-end bonus!

THIS WEEK'S QUIZ
1. What's the only football team to have appeared in six BCS bowl games since the system's 1999 debut--though they've only won once? To have appeared in six BCS bowl games means playing in six of nine years. That's a lot of success. Let's go through the conferences. Not USC, not Oklahoma (beat WSU and Florida State). Not Texas. The SEC teams all beat up on each other. I don't think an SEC team from among Florida, LSU, Tennessee and Georgia would have played in six BCS bowl games. Not Ohio State. Michigan - ah, Michigan! They lost to USC (twice), Texas. But I don't think they played in the Rose Bowl from 1999 to 2004. Notre Dame. They have lost a bunch of bowl games in a row. But many of them were lesser games, not BCS. What about Florida State? A dominant team in the ACC before BC, Va Tech and Miami joined. Won a lot of conference championships. But they have lost a lot of bowl games. I think that's it - Florida State.
2. What man's catalog of work is indexed by "K-numbers"? sounds like Stephen King to me
3. What world nation is, according to its official name, a "Hashemite Kingdom"? Much be an middle eastern country. I also note the word "kingdom." Which countries have a king? Saudi Arabia? Jordan? Egypt did earlier in the 20th century.
4. Who invented the Thanatron and the Mercitron? sound fictional to me, like HG Wells or Jules Verne
5. Amethyst, jasper, onyx, chalcedony, and amethyst are all just varieties of what mineral? quartz
6. What actor has been Oscar-nominated for playing two different U.S. presidents? I can only think of one actor who has been nominated for playing a president - Anthony Hopkins. So I guess he would be my answer.
7. What unusual distinction is shared by these songs? "American Woman" by the Guess Who, "Glamorous" by Fergie, "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani, "I'm Back" by Eminem, "I'm Henry VIII I Am" by Herman's Hermits, "Lola" by the Kinks, "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, and "Turn On Me" by the Shins.

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS
1. What is divided into 114 chapters called "suras"? The Qur'an.
2. What band is named for a British government form for claiming unemployment benefits? Now you know what the UB stands for in "UB40." correct
3. What movie's tagline was "Five criminals. One lineup. No coincidences"? The Usual Suspects. correct
4. What kind of misfortune destroyed at least three of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World? An earthquake is said to have felled the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Colossus of Rhodes, and the Lighthouse at Alexandria. Well, three different earthquakes, obviously. correct
5. Whose famous 1999 shirt removal is remembered by the title of her book It's Not About the Bra? Women's soccer evangelist (and ecdysiast) Brandi Chastain. correct
6. What were the "Inverted Jenny" and the "Penny Black"? Historic (and valuable) postage stamps. very close. I thought misprinted coins, not postage stamps
7. What unusual distinction is shared by all these famous people? Marc Bolan, Ray Bradbury, Jimmy Breslin, Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Imperioli, Quincy Jones, and Vladimir Nabokov. All were famous, at some point, for never having learned to drive a car. This had unhappy consequences in a few cases (Bolan's death, Breslin losing the part of Popeye Doyle in The French Connection, Michael Imperioli being made fun of by James Gandolfini a fair bit). I had no idea.

Randy Pausch is a 46 year-old computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University. He has terminal cancer. He was asked to participate in a lecture series on campus where faculty talk about their inspirations and passions - what has driven their life and their work. He delivered a lecture filled with joy, insight, humor. pathos and love. Right up there with Jim Valvano's talk at the ESPYs. My favorite of his lessons learned “Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you.” I did not know this man at all but he gave me a great gift today.

It lasts 104 minutes and I stayed to the very end. I defy anyone to watch it with a dry eye. You can watch it here

Shiver me timbers! I forgot that today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Stanford hired a pr/advertising firm led by an alum to create some offbeat ads that could air during football and basketball games to promote the university. You can see them here

Play the klystron tube video. Imagine the marshmellow animal as Charlie Weis. See the resemblance?

THIS WEEK'S QUIZ
1. What is divided into 114 chapters called "suras"? sounds Arabic or Indian. Maybe a sacred text. Maybe not. guesses - The Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, 1000 and One Arabian Knights, the Dead Sea Scrolls
2. What band is named for a British government form for claiming unemployment benefits? UB-40
3. What movie's tagline was "Five criminals. One lineup. No coincidences"? sure sounds like The Usual Suspects
4. What kind of misfortune destroyed at least three of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World? let's start with the seven wonders. Hanging Gardens. Colossus of Rhodes. Lighthouse at Alexandria. Pyramids. Statue of Zeus. And the rest of them. at least three probably destroyed by earthquake
5. Whose famous 1999 shirt removal is remembered by the title of her book It's Not About the Bra? Brandi Chastain. I guess you could say that she took off her shirt, but I think of it more as a jersey
6. What were the "Inverted Jenny" and the "Penny Black"? errors in minting US coins?
7. What unusual distinction is shared by all these famous people? Marc Bolan, Ray Bradbury, Jimmy Breslin, Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Imperioli, Quincy Jones, and Vladimir Nabokov.

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS
1. What flower symbolizes the throne of the emperor of Japan? The chrysanthemum, which is why Ruth Benedict called her famous study of Japanese society The Chrysanthemum and the Sword. correct
2. What's the "predator" in the Nashville Predators' NHL logo? It's a saber-tooth tiger/smilodon/some Flintstones thing or other. I was close but not quite
3. What comes with two fontanelles? A baby's skull--those are the two diamond-shaped soft spots where the bone hasn't hardened yet this is what Colin Meloy was singing about when he said the Crane Wife was soft as fontonelle? Ew.
4. In an unprecedented feat, the top 17 cable broadcasts of 2006 were all episodes of what program? Cue the Journey: lots of guesses for The Sopranos here. The correct answer was actually Monday Night Football, in its first year after moving to ESPN.
5. What country borders both of the world's only two nations with square flags? Italy borders both Switzerland and San Marino.
6. Who famously wrote the slogan "This machine kills fascists" on his guitar? Woody Guthrie. I believe the Woodster actually did smash his guitar over the head of the occasional fascist, much like mid-'80s WWF star The Honky Tonk Man. correct
7. What unusual distinction is shared by these famous people? Billy Joel, Les Moonves, Demi Moore, Brigitte Nielsen, Kelly Ripa, Dennis Rodman, Salman Rushdie, and Seal. As 41 of you knew, all have been married at some point to reality TV hosts (to wit: Katie Lee Joel, Julie Chen, Ashton Kutcher, Sylvester Stallone, Mark Consuelos, Carmen Electra, Padma Lakshmi, and Heidi Klum). I guess I don't watch enough reality tv to recognize the hosts

Story from Rosh Hashanah - Accidental shooting at Temple Emanu-El in Dallas

And now the rest of the story from my aunt who was at this temple when it happened.

I'll bet your service wasn't as exciting as ours! Amazingly there was no outcry from anyone, including the man's daughter who was wounded in the foot and two others who apparently were hit by fragments of the bullet as it shattered on the slate floor.

In fact it was eerily quiet. The rabbi stopped, looked in the direction of the incident then continued. Having only a moment to decide what to do and in the absence of a panic, he made the right decision. Some of the people immediately in the area took other seats or left, but without talking. A woman from Israel grabbed her daughter, put her in her lap and ducked. How sad. An ambulance was called, but I never heard a siren so even that was peaceful. The wounded walked to the ambulance.

Temple personnel, including the executive director (Rick Rosenberg, Richard and Sidney's son) quietly carried a large bucket down the aisle and mopped up.
The culprit is 81 and has carried a gun for years after a career in security. His family has been trying to get him to stop carrying; let's hope he does now.

I was concerned it might have been a new friend from New Orleans who carries and had been ushering in the aisle near the incident. He was a building contractor in New Orleans and was influenced by the crime there. I don't know if he had his gun with him but I'm going to ask the next time I see him. Well, L'Shona Tovah! "

Rivalry - Florida vs. Tennessee

Touche. Very clever, very funny.

Rivalry - OU vs. Texas

Very cringe-worthy. Not funny at all.

Advantage - SEC

My Dad has been playing golf for almost his entire life. His golf game is old enough to file for social security. Except for his time in the Navy, he has been a regular at Hillcrest Country Club in Bartlesville. If he has averaged 30-40 rounds a year, he has played well over 2000 rounds in his lifetime, most of them at Hillcrest.

He has always been a pretty good ball striker and a very good scorer. When I was 13 or 14, we won the Father-Junior tournament when Dad shot 33. That included two hole-outs for eagle, but 33 is still 3 under par for 9 holes. A great score! Ok, he shot 45 on the back. Still, Dad has had a consistent handicap for the 40 years that I have been watching his game. He was probably a 6 way back when he only had two boys. But for the duration of his time with four boys and a store to run, he has been a 9, 10, 11, 12 handicap. Pretty good for anyone, much less a 73 year old.

This past Labor Day, Dad went out to play in the middle of the afternoon. He had probably been doing yardwork or paperwork at the store or some chore around the house earlier in the day.

Dad and I played golf in July at Hilton Head and he was struggling. He is always tinkering with his swing to get the club and his weight and the other moving parts into the right places at the right time.

At Hilton Head, he was out of synch. But at Hillcrest on Labor Day, he had it all worked out. He piped his drives and hit his approaches close to the hole. Granted, the course was playing short. They were working on the tees so the tee boxes were moved up. Still, it was not a putt putt course. Hillcrest is rated one of the top courses in the state. You have to play well to score. Dad did that - he shot 33 on the front 9.

Now he had a dilemma. Dad has never shot his age and he had a chance to do just that. A good chance. Despite his years of playing golf, Dad has few milestone rounds or events. He has never made a hole in one. No notable tournament wins. Just the satisfaction and enjoyment of a lot of good scores. Shooting his age would be a rare, special, memorable feat.

But he was expected to meet Mom at the grill at the club for Labor Day dinner at 5:30. If he played the back 9, he would be very late. What do you think he did?

He ended his day after 9 holes and went to clean up before dinner. Dad loves golf. But he knows one of the secrets to his 47 year marriage is doing the right thing. When I spoke to him the following week, he was not upset or wistful or disappointed not to have had a chance to record a 73 or better. Maybe he can keep the good rhythm going next time.

Dad - you are the greatest. This Bud's for you. Actually, this Oban is for you. Cheers.

THIS WEEK'S QUIZ

1. What flower symbolizes the throne of the emperor of Japan? chrysanthemum

2. What's the "predator" in the Nashville Predators' NHL logo? It's some kind of bulked up feline, isn't it?

3. What comes with two fontanelles? Colin Meloy sings "soft as fontanelle" about The Crane Wife but that does not give me much of a clue.

4. In an unprecedented feat, the top 17 cable broadcasts of 2006 were all episodes of what program? WWF is regularly the top rated cable show. That's my guess. Oops. I was just reminded on a bulletin board that there were 17 Monday Night Football games on cable last year.

5. What country borders both of the world's only two nations with square flags? grr. Vexilollogy. Where is Darrel? He knows all the flag questions.

6. Who famously wrote the slogan "This machine kills fascists" on his guitar? I know this one well. Woody Guthrie.

7. What unusual distinction is shared by these famous people? Billy Joel, Les Moonves, Demi Moore, Brigitte Nielsen, Kelly Ripa, Dennis Rodman, Salman Rushdie, and Seal. Let's brainstorm. They all married people more than 10 years younger than them. Or perhaps something about them on the Simpsons. Hmm. What else?

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS

1. The Wonder Years. Many guesses of That '70s Show, but its chronology was MUCH weirder than that.

2. In what city did Charles Lindbergh take his first piloting job, flying the mail? St. Louis--hence, "The Spirit of." correct

3. Where would you find a Zeiss projector? It's the whonking, many-eyed contraption in the middle of a planetarium. I was close with the guess of an IMAX theater. But still wrong.

4. In what 1945 novel does the "Battle of the Windmill" represent the Battle of Stalingrad? Animal Farm. correct

5. What Asian nation was actually named for a region of Africa? Papua New Guinea Is this an Asian nation? Or an Oceanic one?

6. What organization was founded in 1939 in Williamsport, Pennsylvania? Little League Baseball, which still holds its World Series there. correct

7. Name one of the recent Oscar-winning films that shares the unusual distinction shared by these movies: Batman Returns, Billy Madison, Fight Club, Five Corners, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Mary Poppins, A Prairie Home Companion, and Toy Story 2. Either Happy Feet or March of the Penguins, because all these movies prominently feature penguins (or at least, in the Garrison Keillor case, a joke about penguins).

So I got three out of 7. That's been about my average.

THIS WEEK'S QUIZ



1. What TV show set each of its six seasons exactly twenty years in the past? That 70s Show. Wait, that can't be correct. It ran into until 2005 or 2006.

2. In what city did Charles Lindbergh take his first piloting job, flying the mail? St. Louis (I am guessing that this is where the Spirit of St. Louis came from)

3. Where would you find a Zeiss projector? Hmm. Maybe an IMAX theater.

4. In what 1945 novel does the "Battle of the Windmill" represent the Battle of Stalingrad? Animal Farm perhaps

5. What Asian nation was actually named for a region of Africa? no idea

6. What organization was founded in 1939 in Williamsport, Pennsylvania? Little League

7. Name one of the recent Oscar-winning films that shares the unusual distinction shared by these movies: Batman Returns, Billy Madison, Fight Club, Five Corners, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Mary Poppins, A Prairie Home Companion and Toy Story 2. This is tough without having seen more than a few of these movies. I saw Mary Poppins and TS2 and long ago saw a dorm production of The Man Who Came to Dinner. But no common themes come to mind.

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS
1. What magazine's name can be produced by combining the name of the computer and the cat from the movie Alien? The computer is "Mother," the cat is "Jones," ergo: Mother Jones.
2. What Peanuts character's last name is Reichardt? Peppermint Patty's last name is Reichardt.
3. What landmark was originally painted Galaxy Gold, Orbital Olive, and Re-entry Red for its 1962 opening? The Space Needle used those annoyingly named "space" colors.
4. What E.U. nation is led by a president and a prime minster who are identical twins? Poland. This is weird to me because of the *other* Polish twins, Mark and Michael Polish, who made Twin Falls Idaho and The Astronaut Farmer. I think I might be the only one who has a problem with this.
5. What kind of object is smaller than its own Schwarzschild radius? A black hole.
6. How many contributors did struggling Christian-themed TV station WYAH recruit in a 1962 telethon? Seven hundred, which was the genesis of The 700 Club.
7. What distinction is shared by these letters of the alphabet and no others? C, D, O, P, S, and W. They have been "mint marks" on US currency, representing Charlotte, Denver, New Orleans, Philadelphia, San Francisco, and West Point, respectively. There's actually one more (CC, for Carson City), but it's not a single letter.

I got two out of 7 correct.