Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Funnies
Feel free to cut, copy and send in a broadcast email to your friends. Feel free to smile and be amused as well.
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry
6) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
7) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
8) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
9) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
10) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
11) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde
12) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain
13) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
14) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry
15) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry
6) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
7) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
8) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
9) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
10) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
11) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde
12) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain
13) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
14) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry
15) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased
Friday, August 04, 2006
Noodling
There is a sport that is popular in some Midwest and Southern states (including Oklahoma, Tennessee and Louisiana) in which a person catches catfish with nothing but his or her hands. The person goes underwater and places his hand inside a discovered catfish hole, then uses his arm as bait to entice the fish. If all goes as planned, the catfish will swim forward and latch onto the fisherman's hand and arm. It is called noodling.I have to admit that I was unaware of it growing up in Oklahoma but I sure knew people who had the mindset to be good noodlers. What do you expect from a state that also hosts the national rattlesnake hunt? I might expect that a certain amount of liquid courage is involved to numb the pain.
Anyway, I think noodlers are nuts. After reading this story, you probably will too - http://tinyurl.com/npsjf
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
The unconscious mind
"The unconscious mind is decidedly simple, unaffected, straight-forward and honest. It hasn't got all of this facade, this veneer of what we call adult culture. It's rather simple, rather childish. It is direct and free."
-Milton H. Erikson, psychiatrist (1901-1980)
Hmm. I think this probably describes me. I guess I wear my unconscious mind on the outside. Unconsciously.
